The Friday Irregular

Issue #886 - 18th September 2026


Edited by and copyright ©2026 Simon Lamont
( Facebook  /  Bluesky )

tfir@simonlamont.co.uk

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Unless otherwise indicated dollar values are in U.S. dollars. Currency conversions are at current rates at time of writing and may be rounded.
The Friday Irregular uses Common Era year notation.

CONTENTS



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^ WORD OF THE WEEK

hornswaggle
  v. to cheat or defraud [pirate slang]

^ ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Friday 18th September
    - Day 261/365
  -   Harald Hardrada, King of Norway, and Tostig Godwinson landed at the mouth of the Humber River to begin their invasion of England, 1066. Singer, songwriter, lutenist and teacher Francesca Caccini born, 1587. Mathematician Leonhard Euler died, 1783. The Blackpool Illuminations were turned on for the first time, 1879. Director and cinematographer Jack Cardiff born, 1914. Writer Katherine Anne Porter died, 1980.
 
Saturday 19th September
    - Day 262/365
  -   The English defeated the French and captured King John II at the Battle of Poitiers, in the Hundred Years' War, 1356. Explorer Thomas Cavendish born, 1590. Astronomer Ole Rømer died, 1710. Actress Frances Farmer born, 1913. The first Glastonbury Festival opened, 1970. Novelist Jackie Collins died, 2015. International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Splice the mainbrace, me hearties! ☠️
 
Sunday 20th September
    - Day 263/365
  -   Saladin beseiged Jerusalem, 1187. Arthur, Prince of Wales, born, 1486. Sir Anthony Babington was executed for his role in the eponymous plot against Queen Elizabeth I of England, 1586. Poet and novelist Stevie Smith born, 1902. The first Cannes Film Festival, delayed by World War II, opened, 1946. Holocaust survivor and human rights activist Simon Wiesenthal died, 2005.
 
Monday 21st September
    - Day 264/365
  -   Poet Virgil died, 19 BCE. Anglo-Norman invaders captured the Kingdom of Dublin, Ireland, 1170. Writer H.G. Wells born, 1866. J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit was published, 1937. Actress Serena Scott Thomas born, 1961. Sprinter Florence Griffith Joyner died, 1998. International Day of Peace (UN).
 
Tuesday 22nd September
    - Day 265/365
  -   Anne of Cleves, fourth wife of King Henry VIII of England, born, 1515. Martha Corey and seven others became the last of those convicted in the Salem Witch Trials to be hanged, 1692. The coronation of George III and Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz as King and Queen of Great Britain, 1761. Poet Dannie Abse born, 1923. A bright flash, similar to a nuclear bomb detonation, was observed near the Prince Edward Islands, 1979. Musician and singer Chas Hodges died, 2018. Hobbit Day.
 
Wednesday 23rd September
    - Day 266/365
  -   Mongolian emperor Kublai Khan born, 1215. The French defeated the English at the Battle of Arnemuiden, the first naval battle of the Hundred Years' War, 1338. Composer Vincenzo Bellini died, 1835. Journalist and suffragist Victoria Woodhull born, 1838. The planet Neptune, predicted in calculations by Urbain Le Vernier and, separately, John Couch Adams, was first observed by Johann Gottfried Galle, 1846. Singer and musician Etta Baker died, 2006. International Day of Sign Languages (UN). The autumnal equinox in the Northern Hemisphere and vernal equinox in the Southern Hemisphere.
 
Thursday 24th September
    - Day 267/365
  -   Physician and scientist Paracelsus died, 1541. Royalist forces under the command of King Charles I of England were defeated by a Parliamentarian army at the Battle of Rowton Heath in the English Civil War, 1645. Historian and politician Horace Walpole born, 1717. Devils Tower, Wyoming, was declared the USA's first National Monument by President Theodore Roosevelt, 1906. Model and actress Victoria Vetri born, 1944. Socialite and author Deborah Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire, died, 2014.


^ THE WISDOM OF...

This week, J.R.R. Tolkien, in The Hobbit:
Old Took's great-grand-uncle Bullroarer...was so huge (for a hobbit) that he could ride a horse. He charged the ranks of the goblins of Mount Gram in the Battle of The Green Fields and knocked their king Golfimbul's head clean off with a wooden club. It sailed a hundred yards through the air and went down a rabbit-hole, and in this way, the battle was won and the game of Golf invented at the same moment.


^ FILM QUIZ

A selection of quotations from films starring Margot Kidder. Answers next issue or from the regular address. Last issue's quotations from Val Kilmer films were:


^ WEIRD WORLD NEWS

Strange stories from around the world, some of which might be true...

IN BRIEF: In 1910 Walter Griffith Owen took out Milton's Paradise Lost and Shakespeare's King Lear from the Llanrwst Reading Room & Library in Conwy county, Wales, for a week's loan, but did not return them. His grandson, Peter O'Sullivan, recently discovered them hidden behind items on a shelf while going through his late grandfather's items, and decided to return them to what is now Llanrwst Library. He was rather concerned about any fines - the books contained a note saying that if they were "required for a second week, application should be made to the caretaker. Fee, one penny per week." After more than 6,000 weeks that would have been a couple of hundred pounds in old pence, plus interest, but library manager Medi Ashton thanked him and waived the fines. Describing the books as being in "excellent condition", Ashton hopes that the books, donated to the old library in the 1890s, will be displayed in Llanwrst Library as part of a cultural heritage exhibition. ● Two Indian-born women who were adopted as babies by different families over 40 years ago and raised near each other in the Netherlands, becoming best friends, lost contact when one moved to France 15 years ago, both coincidentally took the MyHeritage DNA test and discovered that they are full sisters. They have reunited. ● When the public library in Middletown Springs, Vermont, moved to a new and larger building down the road there was one problem - how to move its stock of more than 5,000 books and other items. The community came to the rescue, forming a human chain, dubbed "the Great Book Brigade" by library officials, last Saturday. ● With increasing reports of European defence forces being scrambled to intercept Russian drones, either accidentally entering European airspace by overshooting Ukraine, or deliberately testing defence forces, it is quite a relief to report that after a drone was reported approaching Vilnius Airport in Lithuania, an Italian fighter jet, based in nothern Lithuania as part of the NATO Baltic Air Defence mission, was scrambled, only for the pilot to report that, after sighting the reported drone, it was actually a flock of birds... ● Belfast resident Marie Macleavey, who used to live in New York City, tends to voice her opinions out loud while watching TV. She also has an 11-year-old African Grey parrot, called Lucky Angel. Lucky complains out loud when visitors smoke or vape, and has now taken to screeching "W*NKER!" every time Donald Trump appears on the TV... [You and most of the world, Lucky... -Ed] ● Craig Berg, 70, was hiking on Isle Royale in Lake Superior when he disappeared on September 5th. He was discovered alive, but dehydrated and injured, a week later, during a coordinated search by backpackers, state police officers and officials. He was taken off the island in a US Coastguard helicopter. ● A 15-year-old boy has been rescued after spending days sitting on an upturned boat in Alaska's Bering Sea after it capsized. His older brother and cousin's bodies were in the boat. The boy had clear hypothermia when rescued by a fishing boat but was otherwise unhurt.

UPDATES: Forty-nine saplings grown from seeds recovered from the Sycamore Gap tree, illegally felled in 2023 by Daniel Graham and Adam Carruthers, have been given to projects around the country, to carry what the National Trust call a "message of hope". Each sapling represents one foot (30cm) of the original tree. As well as the saplings, of which there are a few spares in reserve, the stump of the tree has also sprouted new growth, although it will take over 150 years to grow back to its former height.


^ ENTERTAINMENT

Emmys 2026
     Drama series: The Pitt; Comedy series: Widow's Bay; Limited or anthology series: DTF St Louis.
     Lead actor in a drama series: Noah Wyle, The Pitt; Lead actress in a drama series: Rhea Seehorn, Pluribus; Lead actor in a comedy series: Matthew Rhys, Widow's Bay; Lead actress in a comedy series: Jean Smart, Hacks; Lead actor in a limited or anthology series: Matthew Rhys, The Beast In Me; Lead actress in a limited or anthology series: Sally Field, Remarkably Bright Creatures.
     Supporting actor in a drama series: Tom Pelphrey, Task; Supporting actress in a drama series: Allison Janney, The Diplomat; Supporting actor in a comedy series: Stephen Root, Widow's Bay; Supporting actress in a comedy series: Kate O'Flynn, Widow's Bay.
     Reality competition programme: The Traitors; Variety series: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
     Outstanding writing for a drama series: Vince Gilligan, Pluribus; Outstanding writing for a comedy series: Katie Dippold, Widow's Bay.
     Outstanding directing for a drama series: Saul Metzstein, Slow Horses; Outstanding directing for a comedy series: Hiro Murai, Widow's Bay.


^ OBITUARIES

Portuguese Water Dog Sunny (First Dog of the United States [2013-2017], 15), musician and songwriter Catherine Ringer (Plaza Francia Orchestra, Les Rita Mitsouko, "Marcia Baila", 68), film producer Jeremy Thomas (Bad Timing, Stealing Beauty, Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence, 77), fashion designer Bob Mackie (clients included Cher, Diana Ross and Elton John, Funny Lady, The Carol Burnett Show, 87), actress Sheila Kennelly (Home and Away, Number 96, Big Sky, 88), boxer George Chuvalo (five-time Canadian national heavyweight champion, fought Muhammed Ali twice, was never knocked down in 93 professional fights, 89).


^ DUMBLEDORE BEAR'S LOTTERY PREDICTOR!

Dumbledore Bear, our in-house psychic predicts that the following numbers will be lucky:
1, 3, 4, 9, 12, 31
[UK National Lottery, number range 1-59]
You can get your very own prediction at http://www.simonlamont.co.uk/tfir/dumbledore.htm.


^ AND FINALLY...

    Little Jennifer's mother was doing a half-marathon for charity and Little Jennifer was waiting at the finish line with her father. Her mother crossed the finishing line and came over to them. "Whew! Did you see me running, Little Jennifer? Was I going fast?"
    Little Jennifer thought for a moment, then looked at her mother and smiled as only she could. "Yes, Mummy, but not as fast as all those people who beat you!"


               ^ ...end of line